God Transformed Me
From my earliest memory I wanted to be a boy instead of a girl. Somehow I just knew that if I had male genitalia, my life would be complete. As a child, I prayed repeatedly for God to make me into a boy and became obsessed with my pursuit. However, I never told my family. Though I was a tomboy growing up, no one ever knew the depth of my struggles. It was my little secret that I kept for decades.
In the fourth grade, I learned about sex reassignment surgeries and vowed I would have the operation as soon as I was old enough and had the money. About the same time, some playmates introduced
Silent no more
As long as I remember, I was different and in South Africa where I grew up, there is a myth: if you walk under a rainbow it will change your sex. I tried running under every rainbow I saw! My parents once admitted to me they had wanted a boy; when I came out as a girl, they often treated me as a boy. I wasn’t angry with this because I actually wanted to be a boy.
As a child, my parents fought a lot. My dad was easily angered. I was told I pushed my father away since I was four. Growing up, I always felt uneasy around men.
We attended church on Sundays. Our church didn’t
July 20, 2016 - Wilna van Beek