I left my wife in 1996. I was a mess of confusion and frustration and anger. My Christianity had primarily been a force for behavior modification and for years I had fought to keep my behavior in check. I was fearful of God’s disfavor with me and I was fearful that my Christian friends and family might reject me if my behavior did not meet certain standards. For many years I had been able to control the behavior I thought was most important. My feelings, however, proved uncontrollable. As my feelings and desires increased, my efforts to control my behavior became more and more exhausting.
- Mike Goeke
Silent no more
As long as I remember, I was different and in South Africa where I grew up, there is a myth: if you walk under a rainbow it will change your sex. I tried running under every rainbow I saw! My parents once admitted to me they had wanted a boy; when I came out as a girl, they often treated me as a boy. I wasn’t angry with this because I actually wanted to be a boy.
As a child, my parents fought a lot. My dad was easily angered. I was told I pushed my father away since I was four. Growing up, I always felt uneasy around men.
We attended church on Sundays. Our church didn’t teach
July 20, 2016 - Wilna van Beek